Bailey
Sonichu (born 17 March 19882) is the namesake and intended primary protagonist of Christian Weston Chandler's world-renowned comic. He is a combination of Sonic the Hedgehogand Pikachu and is also Chris's imaginary son/friend. He goes on adventures and "zaps to the extreme!" Sonichu's species, Sonichu, evolves from a Sonee, and can evolve into either Metonic or Ultra Sonichu. (Even though the original Sonichu mutated from Pikachu, which just makes the Sonichu comic even more convoluted.) Sonichu is only nominally the hero of the comic series, as he was swiftly pushed aside for Chris as soon as the comic became an allegory for real-life situations. Chris revealed on his Wikipedia page that Sonichu is a product of a computer graphics class. In March 2000, Chris had to create a CD album cover for an assignment. Despite being a ridiculously simple project, with infinite possibilities for a possible CD cover, Chris still struggled with the assignment, because he could not use copyrighted characters. It seemed as if Chris's usual technique of "cover everything with shitty video game characters" wouldn't work this time...but then, inspiration struck: Fictional character biography What would later become known as "Sonichu" hatched as a Pichu on 17 March 1988,2 which interestingly enough is also the exact birth date of Chris's cherished dog Patti.6 It would eventually evolve into a Pikachu on 26 February 1994.2 Awww Our hero's story began as the Perfect Chaos Monster lay siege to the town of Station Square. Sonic the Hedgehog attempted to defeat the creature using the six Seven (though two are identical) Chaos Emeralds to transform into Super Sonic. In the midst of this epic battle, Sonic bumped into a Pikachu who happened upon the scene. This collision somehow mutated the Pikachu so that it evolved to possess the physical characteristics and abilities of Sonic (Sonic himself was unchanged). After assisting with the defeat of the Perfect Chaos Monster, the ex-Pikachu declared himself to be a new species of Pokémon: Sonichu. After his transformation, he ran back to his parents' nest, where he found that they had been caught by Pokémon trainers. Showing the same callousness his creator does after a great loss, Sonichu made no attempt to find them, nor did he never mention them again. He went on to refer to Chris as his father.7 While Sonichu had gained new abilities from his transformation, his larger size made it impractical for him to forage for nuts and berries in the forest. Upon discovering Rosechu in the woods, he hoped to beg for food from her trainer, Kel and thus stalked Rosechu back to her and Kel's cabin, whereupon he introduced himself to them. Rosechu was immediately attracted to Sonichu for such qualities as being unable to name his favorite color. Their whirlwind romance was quickly consummated, and the two became passionate lovers. After rescuing Rosechu from Naitsirhc at CWCville Mall, Sonichu became recognized as the hero of the city. CWCville's Mayor, Christian Weston Chandler, congratulated him for his victory; Sonichu in turn commended his creator's work on the Sonichu comics and wished him luck in his Love Quest. Although Naitsirhc had been defeated, he succeeded in obtaining a sample of Sonichu's DNA which his adopted father, Giovanni, and Doctor Robotnik used to create Black Sonichu. Black Sonichu (unironically dubbed Blachu) was sent to capture Rosechu to lure Sonichu into a trap; however Giovanni and Robotnik did not reckon on Sonichu joining forces with Sonic. Together they overwhelmed both Blachu and Metal Sonichu to rescue Rosechu, who later met Amy Rose. One day while zapping to the extreme, Sonichu encountered The Destiny Cave, a mysterious Cherokian chamber guarded by an old man. The keeper of the Destiny Cave explained that Sonichu was the prophesied creature whose master would enter the cave and receive special powers. Sonichu reported this to Christian, and took him back to the cave. There, they learned the Anchuent Prophecy, which revealed that Chris is the reincarnation of his Cherokian ancestor and foretold of the release of an ancient evil. Sonichu blamed himself for allowing this evil force to escape, but Chris reassured him. After Chris took on the powers of Chris-chan Sonichu, transforming him into a hedgehog, Sonichu helped him adjust to his new powers and body. No sooner had Chris-Chan mastered these abilities when he and his son were ambushed by Wes-Li Sonichu, the reincarnation of the head of the Wasabi Clan, who sought to renew the hostilities between the Wasabis and Cherokees. Saramah Rosechu, the reincarnation of the wife of Chris's ancestor, intervened to stop the battle. Sonichu and these three prophesied hedgehogs formed a tenuous alliance to defeat a giant golem monster summoned by Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon. When Sonichu learned of Blachu's attempt to steal the Legendary Master Sunstone, he zapped to the scene of the crime, only to discover five other electric hedgehog Pokémon born from eggs dropped by the Chaotic Rainbow. Sonichu led this newly formed Chaotic Combo into battle against Blachu, defeating him utterly. While Christian and Sonichu were chillin' at the mall, Mary Lee Walsh's forces attacked CWCville, prompting Christian to summon the Chaotic Combo and transform into Chrs-Chan Pure with his twin sister. Sonichu contributed relatively little to this battle, as Chris did most of the heavy lifting. In the aftermath of the attack, during which Crystal was imprisoned in Count Graduon's Dark Mirror Hole, Sonichu confided to Rosechu about dreams of seeing his creator with long hair in a mirror. When Reldnahc Ha-Taque and Black Sonichu attacked CWCville Mall, Sonichu and Magi-Chan accompanied Chris in responding to the emergency. Sonichu largely hung back as Chris battled his homosexual evil twin. After the threat of Reldnahc was eliminated, Chris, Magi-Chan, and Sonichu pooled their efforts to retrieve one of the seven Sonichu Balls from 1996. Magi-chan created a sphere to contain them, which Sonichu's tremendous speed would accelerate backwards through time. Although they successfully obtained the Sonichu Ball and returned to the present, Chris was lost in the time stream. Sonichu was disheartened by the disappearance of his father, but was able to console Rosechu so that she would be willing to have sex with him. The next day, after hours of vigorous sexual intercourse, Sonichu and Rosechu discovered the website 4-cent_garbage.com spreading slanderous lies about them and their friends. Most notably, the site had pictures of Rosechu with a penis -- pictures which caused Sonichu to collapse into violent nausea. Outraged, the couple stormed the 4-cent_garbage.com building to confront Jason Kendrick Howell. When Howell refused to remove the offending content from his website, Sonichu attacked him in an rage, but was easily defeated. It instead fell to Rosechu to teach Howell a lesson by shoving her breasts and pussy in his face while eating his brain. During Spring Break, Sonichu was briefly seen talking to Rosechu and surfing. After Chris's return from the Time Void, Sonichu returned to his role as second fiddle to Chris, doing the latter's bidding as Ultra Sonichu with some godlike powers of his own. When forces of evil attacked CWCville, Sonichu took time out from raging at homos and objectifying his wife in order to defend the city. When granted the opportunity to finish the primary villain once and for all, Sonichu released her in order to allow his father to grab all the glory of defeating her (and thus putting the city in further danger). Later, after Collosal Chan's crimes against humanity, Sonichu served as "plaintif"sic/witness in the mock trial of the Asperpedia Four. After the predetermined verdict, Sonichu took part in Evan's brutal execution. Sonichu has also made an appearance drawn in marker on CWC's duck. Characteristics and personal life Category:Who Category:Removed Category:The Category:Fuck Category:Ing Category:Tags Category:You Category:Gunch Category:Bastard Category:Has had a wife fucked by alex jones